Tallcan Hate
What is a tall can?
Some would say that a tall can refers to the amount of beer inside a can. Some would say that that amount has to be 24oz. Some would say that duckt taping two beers together is acceptable and makes it a tall can. Some would say that Podcasts should be viewable by young children even though they deal with adult topics like beer drinking. Some would say that a podcast is about high gloss fancy production quality, wide format video and sound quality good enough that you can hear it on laptop speakers.
Let’s go back to the beginning here. Back to episode 1. A tall can is a can that is taller than a standard 12oz can of beer or soda. Tall Can, not man can like Jerz keeps calling it. I’ll get out my measuring tape and have a look see…
I have a dream that some day 16oz beers, and 24oz beers can come together in unity to fight the oppression of the puny and barely buzz inducing threat of the 12oz beer. I have a dream that the world will ban such tripe and hogwash as tallcan segregation and the bigotry of 16oz hate. People who espouse such divisive notions are bringing down the drinking pleasure of all Americans. Jerz is playing into the divide and conquer tactics of big beer producers who want to keep the common man down by forcing him to consume cheep beer in smaller, more expensive and less intoxicating cans.
Ask yourself, Mr. Jerz, do i love beer? Do i love America? Do I want to help or hurt the working class? I believe Mr. Jerz wants to do good. I believe Mr. Jerz thinks he’s doing what he believes is best for America. I just don’t believe he has the experience to lead a Tallcan beer themed podcast. And the above video rant proves that.
You can put lipstick on a pig, but it’s still a pig. In other words: SUCKIT JERZ!!!
I’m Wolfy and I approve this message.
-M
September 24th, 2008 at 7:00 am
September 24th, 2008 at 9:33 am
The guy putting lipstick on the pig is Wolfy. The pig is the fake tallcan. The stupid pounder. A tallcan is clearly defined as a 24oz beer. You don’t toss in an extra 4oz and call it a tallcan. That’s like saying the shaving cream I got “Now with 33% more – Free!” is a tallcan of shaving cream. NO! It’s just a little extra. I realize Doak was blasted to the point that giving him another full 12oz was a bad idea, but you could have also just pretended the camera was recording. The guy never would have known. Tallcan TV could be ruined by this hasty cry for attention. Dammit.
September 24th, 2008 at 11:55 am
If this is true, that a “tall can” is 24 ounces — nothing more, nothing less — then it shatters my paradigm and everything I thought I ever knew about beer in oversized cans.
My framework for tall cans has always defaulted to 16 ounces in the past, so I considered the 24-ounce can the one that is difficult to classify.
Because I consider Jerz to be knowledgeable about all things, I will remain open in this debate, and solidify my own tall can definition once others have weighed in to provide evidence beyond the “that’s how I have always known it” variety.
September 24th, 2008 at 1:31 pm
I think there might be some wiggle room here. Maybe. Consider: perhaps we should classify a Tallcan™ differently from a tall can. My understanding was that the brand of the show was Tallcan™. While a larger than 12oz can might be taller than normal, it is not a Tallcan™. What do you think about that?
September 24th, 2008 at 3:15 pm
Go back and watch episode #1 where I CLEARLY define a Tallcan in comparison with a Smallcan.
I’ll concede that more beer = better and therefore 24oz > 16oz > 120oz. We need to unite under the idea that smallcans suck.
Until such time as 12oz cans are eliminated from our country and we no longer have to endure the torture of repeated can openings and crushings, risking danger to person and property, we will use the 16oz can as a necessary allay.
I for one long for the day when we can look at a 16oz can as the smallest available aliquot of brewed malt beverages and smile about the ground we’ve covered while holding our noses over such a trifle.
But, my dear Jerz, we have a long, long, long way to go. I believe we can do it. And I thank you for your support.
-M